August 27, 2016

MARRIED COUPLES | How To Enjoy Sex After Childbirth

S*x after childbirth can be scary for many women; even though childbirth makes them to have all it takes to make their husband want more s*x on mere sighting them; talk of large (milk-filled) bre*sts and pointed nip-ples. It is even for this reason that some men ‘compete for’ or ‘alternate’ the bre*sts with their new babies.

Although s*xual inter-course is not encouraged until six weeks after, for those who had normal delivery, to allow the body heal and avoid likely infections, some men have described such women as more attractive. But those might not be enough to boost the confidence and preparedness of a woman to resume s*xual activities with her husbands.

The fears may not be misplaced after all.

For those who had normal delivery, some tend to be apprehensive of what their partners would think of what has become of their body, largely because of their fatigued and ‘loose body.’ Coupled with exhaustion and other things that could take their minds away from going for another bed game, it is not uncommon to see that some couples’ s*x lives derail after childbirth.

And on the other hand, for those who had Caesarean Section, the pain may not abate quickly, which makes s*x somewhat painful. Even though the tightness of the va-gina is retained when a woman gives birth through CS, which is the reason why some men encourage their wives to go through the operation to avoid having a loose vagina afterwards, studies have however shown that s*x may become more painful for such couples after childbirth until it heals completely. Thus, such women shy away from it for some time.

Impliedly, whether the delivery was done through normal delivery, use of some equipment, through CS or there was episio-tomy, which is a surgical cut made at the opening of the vagina during childbirth to widen the passage for easy delivery and prevent rupture of tissues, there is usually the possibility of a cut, tear or scar at the end of the exercise, which could dampen couples’ s*ex lives. 

But there is a way out.

Women who had CS, one good way to enjoy s*x after childbirth and avoid nightmarish experiences would be to explore extensive fore-play or adopt other s*x positions apart from the missionary style so as not to put too much pressure on the pain until it heals.

According to a popular nurse and s*xual health expert, Samantha Evans, “Pressure on the wound arising from CS can cause pain, while some loss of sensation around the wound can also occur, making it sensitive to touch. Therefore these women should avoid s*xual positions which exert pressure on their abdomens and over the wound site.”

And apart from using helpful s*xual positions, experts have advised foreplay, which can take both parties to or-gasm without any penile inter-course. Medical experts have pointed out that the stimulation of the glans (the rounded part forming the end of the p*nis) can make men ejacu-late, and the stimulation of the cli-toris or the nipples can take women to their own destination.

Thankfully, previous studies, have shown that a significant number of women don’t reach orgasm through pene-trative s*x, but through the stimulation of such vital parts.

According to a consultant endocrinologist, Dr. Olamoyegun Michael, couples can have an exciting s*xual experience after childbirth because, physiologically, childbirth does not affect s*xual performance in women.

He said if there was no problem at delivery and there were no injuries, there should be no reason for any reduced li-bido or enjoyment of s*x and couples can enjoy s*x after delivery, as much as they did before the pregnancy.

In fact, he said such women tend to experience increased vagi-nal secre-tion, which is key in s*xual enjoyment, and that if there is dryness at all, it is possibly because there is no enough stimulation. Thus, the man should engage the woman in extensive fore-play so she could be wet.

He said, “There is no physiological explanation why somebody should have reduced libido after delivery. The hormones produced during pregnancy don’t necessarily increase or reduce libido and they go back to normal after delivery. The increased blood flow occurs during pregnancy and there is nothing like that after childbirth. Six weeks after delivery, the body goes back to pre-pregnancy state. So, whatever changes that occurred that period disappears six weeks after the childbirth.”

Be that as it may, Olamoyegun cautioned that whether such women would enjoy s*x, or the extent to which they would, depend on the circumstances surrounding the delivery.

“There are various forms of exercise that can be done to tighten the va-gina wall if it is loose and one of such is pel-vic floor exercise, also known as Ke-gel exercise, which helps to tighten the muscle around the va-gina. It works, but if that is not very effective, there are other procedures to tighten it.”

He said without exercise, the va-gina can still firm up with time but it may not be very effective and it will take a longer time. So, for a tighter va-gina, which is key in s*xual enjoyment, women should take up such (Ke-gel) exercises.
He added, “Women usually add weight during pregnancy and most women don’t shed that weight after delivery, so they might not be as pretty and attractive to their husbands as they used to be. It may reduce the number of times they have s*x, and that is why such women are advised to exercises.

“Also, some women shift their attention from the men to the child, so, they don’t have time for s*x neither do they have time to look attractive for their husbands, which can lessen the interest of the man in the woman.”

Put together by Punch's Tunde Ajaja