September 19, 2016

How I Moved On After My Marriage Crashed... why marriages are failing – Nollywood Director

If you mistakenly find yourself in a bad marriage, no know should willing go into a bad marriage, it is necessary you know that there are not only two options, there are actually three options.

One is, sincerely try your very best to make it work, the second is, end it before it consumes you and the third is, to abstain. Many don't know what "abstain" means in this regards, I will address later.

For now, here's the story of movie director, Dickson Iroegbu, who has been separated from his wife, Efe, for 6 years now, after 7 years of marriage. Since their marriage crashed, he has had to live with the reality of playing the role of a father as well as a mother to their three children.

He shares his touching but interesting story...
Vanguard: Your Experience as a single parent 
It’s an experience better imagined than experienced. Of course, it sets you backward a bit, but then, if your trust is in the Lord, it will only be a matter of time and you will get used to it. Six years is almost gone since my marriage to my wife crashed. It’s been a bitter-sweet experience.

Coping with the situation 
Positivity is my drive. As a creative person, it takes lots of energy to handle heartache, but we must soldier on. I have never failed as a father to my children. My marriage crashed six years ago, but it is not the end of the road for me. I am still very hopeful for a better wife.

Who to blame for the crash of marriage 
There’s no one to blame, it just didn’t work between us. I mean, we are two adults, and we both made a choice to opt out of the marriage because of what you call irreconcilable differences.

Memorable moments shared with ex-wife 
Whatever I shared with my ex is personal, I do not want to discuss her.

Gains and losses of being divorced 
There is no loss, because we are blessed with wonderful kids, so our focus is on them.

Relationship with women after marriage crashed 
My relationship with women has been here and there. If you ask me, ‘na who I go ask?’

Efforts to reconcile?
We tried to reconcile but it never worked. So we are just friends and equal parents to our children. I will remarry someday because it is not good for a man to be alone. I am still under 40 years. One day, I will get married again.

Cost of separation
Both father and mother must stay committed to raising their children. It is not particularly the responsibility of one person. Whatever went wrong between two adults should never be allowed to affect the children. My children have access to their mother without any inhibition, and that is also applicable to me. They are our children, we are both responsible for them. Train up a child the way he should grow, so that he will not depart from it. Every child deserves care, good education and the much required fear of the Lord.

Advice to single parents
It should not result to fighting if the marriage does not work. Stay as friends and take care of your children. No regrets, I have no regrets whatsoever. I just learn to move on.

Why marriages are failing
Major factors to marriage crashes are mostly foundational. It wouldn’t be a forever marriage if the foundation is on falsehood. Life is not like in the movies. Marriage is a natural reality show scripted by God Himself, who is the Supreme Director.

7 comments:

Harbolarkale Niyi said...

Marriage entails alot of pains and gains.

ats three said...

Nice and mature. I like the fact that he kept it simple and neutral.

Ololade said...

How can a sane woman leaves her children for a man to train. Lord , please deliver us from evil.

Anonymous said...

Like the way he answered d questions because no grudges is seen. That Ademinokan is still enemies with Doris. Truly men r different, I am single but can't marry man with 3 kids mbanu

Hassan Aderemi said...

Marriage entails a lot of tolerance, only couple that understand that last longer in marriage till death do them part.

inumidun said...

Nawa o, God should b made d foundation of marriage..

Dike Iwejingi said...

Come marry me