Marriage is considered the most intimate relationship of all. In marriage, one plus one is one; a notion attributed to the strength and bond associated with this divinely orchestrated union between a man and a woman.
Today the inability of many married couple to maintain intimacy in their marriages is a major cause of infidelity; an aspect which ought to be nurtured and enjoyed has become a source of distress and conflict in many marriages today.
The importance of intimacy in marriage is seldom a subject of discussion in our society which is the reason many marriages fall short of this very key element of a beautiful marriage.
In actual fact, many people believe s*xual intimacy is only a necessary obligation through which children are conceived in marriage and not an element which must be nurtured with or without children.
Unfortunately, in many African cultures, intimacy is seldom addressed at the premarital stage especially amongst young women, as it is rather seen as an act that encourages waywardness.
Hate & blame
When intimacy is absent in marriage, situations which often lead to infidelity set in and marital commitment is destroyed in the process.
Today, most separations and divorces can be attributed to lack of intimacy in marriage either as a result of misconception, egotism, delusion and more.
While some couples are able to identify these problems irrespective of the damages and reinstate their relationship, others play the blame and hate game which eventually destroys their marriages.
When your spouse’s desire for intimacy become selfishly motivated and he/she gets so consumed by the desire for self fulfillment alone, this egoism behavior can make s*xual intimacy seem like a burden rather than a unifying aspect of your marriage.
On the order hand, the lack of intimacy in your marriage does not give your spouse the moral justification to have an affair and avoid responsibility for acts committed.
The gift of time
Time is a very essential tool which most successfully married couples embrace to nurture everlasting intimacy. A man who shuts his wife out of his life and spends time in ways that excludes her cannot expect intimacy to grow in his marriage. It is only when he is diligent in his commitment to her that both can affectionately enjoy intimacy together and also build a common interest in many good things too.
On the other hand, a woman who puts the interest of herself and her children first by creating too much time for motherhood, wearing herself out, hence creating little or no time for intimacy in the bedroom, will also frustrate the efforts of her husband in bed. You must both be willing to create time for intimacy if you desire a blissful marriage life together.
Most infidelity is as a result of a strain in the relationship and that can often be attributed to lack of intimacy, it is often easy to criticise your spouse but you can restore the damages if you start to take responsibility for your own mistakes today.
Forgiveness becomes a choice when you put your feelings into consideration and willingly start afresh. Remember that a blissful marriage is made possible when many battles are fought and won.
- Elizabeth Badejo