Character is marriage, marriage is character. Success or failure of marriage is a function of character. Most times bad character destroys marriage more than any other thing in life.
Below are the things that will make your marriage work and sweet:
1. Understanding. Understanding is an inevitable tool for every woman that wants to live with her husband throughout a life-time in marriage. Living with a man requires high level of understanding of the make gender and understanding is a deliberate character that needed to be built by a woman who want to succeed in marriage. Don’t just act like every other woman, take time to understand why men act the way they do, understand marriage, love, sex, in-laws, crisis management, parenting and financial management
2. Perseverance. Perseverance means continued steady effort to achieve an aim in spite of difficulty. This is a character which every woman should develop in order to make their marriage work. At times, the husband may be heady, difficult, beats, maltreat you, your in-laws may pose as a threat to you in that marriage, there may be delay in childbirth, and all these challenges should not force you to quit your marriage. Rather, persevere. Don’t surrender your marriage to pressure, you will soon overcome.
3. Teachability. No matter your age, academics qualification or exposure life, you must be humble enough to be taught by your husband. Even if you think you know more than him, listen to him, allow yourself to be corrected and don’t be stubborn. Men generally love women with teachable spirit. Diligently work on yourself to develop teachable character in life. Tick
4. Homelineness. There’s no home until there is somebody in it to bring it alive. To have an excellent marriage, you must be homely. Create the time to be at home. Avoid constant traveling and any job that takes your weekend or that cause you to close late daily. Must man detest it when their wife travels a lot and close late. If you don’t have adequate time for your husband and children, you may not be intimate with your husband because intimacy takes time and you stand the risk of losing your husband to any available lady around him. Close early just to be with your spouse, you may lose your job but you must not lose your marriage. As a wife, you are like a light in that home, when you are not there, everywhere looks boring. So close early and light up your marriage.
5. Friendliness. “A man that hath friends must show himself friendly”. Proverbs 18:24a. Successful marriage is a friendship taken so deep. Consciously make yourself likeable and lovable. Don’t be too ‘serious’ have a friendly look. A good welcoming look, welcoming smiles and character will get your husband attracted to you. No man will want to be with a frowning, stubborn and contentious wife. Be friendly in your speech, actions and reactions. Strange women normally demonstrate high level on friendliness to win other people’s husband. As a woman, demonstrate friendliness to retain your husband.
6. Humility. It is an essential character to build a successful marriage. Relate and speak with all humility. Humility will get you attached to your spouse while pride will make you repulsive to him. Come down, bow down to your husband if you want him to stick to you forever. Humility and submissive wives don’t get beaten by their husbands. Be humble enough to take to correction. Be humble enough to allow your husband to speak while you listen to him. It takes a humble woman to win the heart of her husband.
7. Positive Thinking. Positive thinkers don’t get negative results. Think positively about your marriage, it will not break; strange women will not push you out. Your marriage will last. Think positively about your husband he will jilt you; stop thinking about malice, retaliation or vengeance. Think well of him and he will treat you well.
8. Boldness. It takes boldness to take bold steps and it takes steps to get greater results. You need boldness to become a successful merchant/career woman in order to supplement the family finance. You need boldness to stand and fight for your marriage when the strange women were troubling you. It takes boldness to remain in your marriage no matter how long you have trusted the Lord for the fruit of the womb because God will soon answer you.
9. Fashionable. Don’t just be an occasional dresser. Become an addicted dresser. Fashion and love goes together. Do you want your husband to keep loving you, be fashionable at all times. You need to have better understanding of colour combination, kind of wears that suit every occasion. Bad fashion sense may throw you out of your matrimonial home because all men want a good looking and stylish wife.
10. Forgiveness. Offending and forgiving are two courses you must offer if your marriage must succeed. And you must not fail in these two courses. If you fail, your marriage cannot but be rocky or end in divorce. Create a part in your heart to accommodate because your husband will definitely offend you and you must continue to forgive him. Love cannot flow in the heart that keeps malice. Forgive your husband no matter the offence. Forgiveness attitude will help you understand each other better and your marriage rock solid. Forgive, stop keeping malice. Virtuous women forgive.
11. Diligence. Many women have loosed their marriage because of laziness. Men are not looking for full-time housewives, they want hardworking wives who can contribute to the family income. Women, quit the lazy business. Get yourself engage in doing something worthwhile.
12. Self control. To have self is to be in charge of yourself (i.e) your emotions, actions and reactions attitudes. Your husband will always offend you, people will always get on your nerves but you must not allow your emotions to take over your actions. You must not over-react; you must not demonstrate uncontrollable anger. You must have control over your body; don’t engage in sexual immorality with any other man.
13. Good Communication. It is the mouth that signifies the commencement of a marital relationship because it is when the mouth pronounce the statement “yes I do” during wedding that you are proclaimed husband and wife. That same mouth can destroy the marriage if not well managed. Be a communication expert. Speak positively, speak with humility. Avoid vulgar words like you’re a fool, you are stupid, foolish man, I will divorce you, etc. Make use of statements like “I am sorry, I am proud of you, please, thank you” etc.
14. Hospitality. Though many may not take this to be vital in building a blissful marriage, but it is. Nonchalant or hostility towards the members of your husband’s family or once the relationship between you, your husband and his family turn sour, your marriage is at risk. Welcome every visitor with a smile and qualify treatment. No man can resist a wife with a welcoming face.
15. Versatility. To be versatile means to be good at doing a lot of different things and able to learn new skills quickly and easily. Be a pioneer of new business, be productive. Get things done through many means. Improve your level of productivity and become the pride of your husband and children.
16. Patience. To live with a man for the rest of your life, you need patience in large quantity because your husband will offend you, make you feel pain but you must not react negatively. Because patience equip one with the ability to tolerate other people annoying behavior without getting angry. There are many divorce cases in marriage because many married men and women lack patience in their characters.
17. Appreciation. Appreciation is a motivation to your husband. One good deed well appreciated will open the door for greater deeds. Let appreciation become your way of life. Attach importance to every kind of gesture and gifts given to you. Do not look down on a gift. Appreciate little favour and kind gestures. Don’t let any kindness go unnoticed even if it’s below your expectations. When you are found of appreciating your husband, he will be fond of you.
18. Goodliness. It connotes godly character and way of life. Don’t be a member of a denomination for the sake of it, be godly in your conversation, actions, attitudes and dressing. You can’t be godly and be insulting, disobeying, or keeping malice with your husband and his family. Be godly indeed and let there be reflection of goodliness in all that you do.
19. Industrious. Successful marriage is a hard work and men generally love hard working women. Industrious wives are hardworking wives. As a wife, you need a develop a positive attitude towards work. Avoid being lazy, when you are lazy, your house will be dirty. You will be a liability to your husband. Don’t be a full-time house wife, work with your hands and be a pillar of support for your husband and children. Though, you may not have a white collar job, you can create a job for yourself by trading with your talents and also engage in other business which included a consultancy services.
20. Peacefulness. There will be many things that will gets you angry in marriage but you must not react angrily if you all want is a lasting marriage. Nobody needs your anger, keep it. Be a peaceful wife, be the carrier of peace, be easy enough to live with. A peaceful attitude will cause your husband to dream of coming back early to be with you. While hostile attitude can cause you to lose your husband to a strange woman.
21. Selflessness. Selflessness is one of the major killers of marriage. Never allow any traits of selflessness to raise its ugly head in your life. Imbibe the attitude of selfishness by caring for your husband and other people than yourself. Considering the needs of your husband ahead of your own will make you get more than what you bargain for because great wives are celebrated not for what they did for themselves but for what they did for their husbands.
22. Thoughtfulness. Thoughtful wife can never be fond stranded; they always act ahead of time. They are known to be proactive. Think fast and act ahead of time on how to make your husband happy by meeting his needs even before he place a demand.
23. Respect. Every husband wants respect from their wife. If you want peace in that marriage, respect your husband. No matter his height, level of academics qualifications or financial life; respect him. As a wife, you may have a better qualification, richer and more exposed; all these notwithstanding give him respect. Let him talk, obey his decisions and let his opinion counts.
24. Neatness. A neat wife, a neat home and neat children are what every husband craves for. Are you from the linage of pig? If no, drop your dirty attitude, keep your children and home neat and tidy. Always dress neat so as to remain relevant in the sight of your husband.
25. Faithfulness. Dare to be faithful. Faithfulness is insurance on the life of your husband. Other men out there may entice you with gift and money, but don’t be fooled. Remain with your husband; let no other man see your nakedness. Make a vow that you will not allow any other man apart from your husband to sleep with you.
26. Joyfulness. Be a woman of cheerful countenance at all times and in every situation. Though unpleasant situations may surround you but you must not be beclouded by it. Rejoice always. Don’t wear a bad look. Avoid frowning, smile and put on a friendly look. With this, you will see the presence of God and retain your husband’s love because men love cheerful women.
27. Kindness. Be kind hearted, engage in kind acts, by showing concern about the happiness, feelings and wellbeing of your husband, children and the people around you. Speak kindly; make your request in a polite manner to your husband always. Your kindness towards him will endear your husband to you always.
28. Generosity. Both male and female, everybody love gifts. Be generous to your husband and don’t be stingy. Stop hiding your money from him. Every man wants a woman who releases her resources willingly to her husband. Being generous will make you win your in-laws and your husband stick to you. Remember, it is more blessed to give than to receive. Give unsolicited gifts.
29. Faith. Don’t behave like most women who are fearful but be women of faith. Apply faith in every situation you find yourself, be positive and you will get positive results. It is the lacks of faith that make every woman weep in the face of seemingly difficult situation. Operate from the side of faith and you will commit God to daily operations in your life.
30. Prayerfulness. Your marriage requires more prayer to work than you can imagine. Form the habit of ceaseless prayer. A woman of prayer is a woman in charge of her home and she is a woman who can keep her marriage. Rise up and commit the emotion, actions, decision, job/career, attitudes, friends, finances, etc of your husband into the hands of the Lord. Taking your husband to God in prayer constantly will make you have positive husband whose actions is controlled from above. Stop crying and stop reporting your husband to family and friends, rather pray for him.
31. Truthfulness. Be a truthful person. Avoid telling lies. Speak the truth and stick with it. If your husband know that you’re truthful, he will trust you and believe your words. Don’t rove too smart by telling lies in any situations. Speak the truth and win the trust of your husband.
Pastor Bisi Adewale is a family and relationship expert; author of Secret of Irresistible Wife and more than 70 other books on marriage and family life.
You can reach him on email@example.com,
08068312004, 08051512823, BB Channel: C0032D398,