November 04, 2016

As Wikileaks Destroys Hillary Clinton, It's Time To Return To Handwritten Letters

by Dr. Peregrino Brimah
The Wikileaks revelations from the Podesta emails have been horrible. You can't look Hillary in the eye after seeing all of that. I doubt anyone with a conscience can put their thumb down for her with all that filth. DNC chair had to resign for rigging the party primaries against Bernie Sanders, Donna Brazille was fired from CNN. 

There's material showing collusions with justice department and even Obama's state department. It's just too much. 

Perhaps there is also stuff there about choice of adult diapers, but that won't be scrubbed till people are done with the damning political stuff.

So in recognition of how unsafe electronic technology is, I figured out the solution: it's time we returned to those personal and safe hand-written mails, with a stamp on the envelope. You know, the type of stamp you lick and stick.

Now I know many of you can't remember how to write a letter. So I have below a template. All you need do is fill in on sentence with your request or advice somewhere in the middle and voila. It's ready to be taken to the post office.

Handwritten Letter Template

*Top Right side: Write your return address.

Dear [Name],
How are you and how is the family? Hope all is well. If so, then thank God.
I am well over here. The family is doing fine too. Mummy just got a new cat and the cat just caught another rat. 
Well, not to take too much of your time, let me go straight to the purpose of my writing you this letter. 
[enter sentence of message here. For instance, "I am writing this letter to ask you for money," or "I am writing this letter to ask if I can come stay for the holidays," etc]
So help me say hello to your family and loved ones. {everyone has a family, but edit if the recipient does not} Tell them I miss them. 
I look forward to seeing you soon. Till next time. 
Yours {select one of the following} Sincerely/faithfully
{Or use} Truly Yours
[Enter your name] 
Then add the "NB" line:
NB: I forgot to tell you that {enter someone's name} just {enter an event, like, "died," "came home," "Hit the jackpot," "was defeated in the elections due to Podesta emails," etc}.
---Letter end---

Dr. Peregrino Brimah
@EveryNigerian

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

jjust bring it down. ...not connecTed to nija wahala

Jekwu said...

Olu are you there?
Oh! Hillary my dear, its so unfortunate.

ats three said...

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm na wa!

Anonymous said...

Clinton wife go defeat Trump