May 11, 2017

Open Letter To Mercy Aigbe, Tonto Dikeh & Others

A lady named Toyin Fabunmi said she has something to tell Mercy Aigbe, Tonto Dikeh, etc.

Deceit is an abused Nigerian woman.

She gets battered one minute and the next minute she is on social media telling the world what a wonderful husband she has. She shares pictures of the good times and talks about how he is the best in the world, how she will choose him all over again if she had to do so again. 

Really? Aunty? Are you okay like this?

I do believe I will never understand women who praise and hype their abusive husbands. I mean, how do you look the same husbands in the face knowing he must have seen the adoration you wrote and he knows as well as you do that its all a lie. Is it that they hope the men will aspire to be those men they describe in flowery "Awww" inducing posts? Do they hope to guilt trip the brutes into good behavior? Is it a case of "nani, nani ,nani,ohun a ni la'n nani"? Is it? 

Are you supposed to be hyping and praising a man that's sending you to the Emergency room on a steady basis? Are you okay like this?

I do believe there is a mental issue at the foundation of this. Something must really be wrong with one's pysche for you to accept regular beating as an adult and not just that but still present a facade of perfection to the world. I wonder if these women know that it actually diminishes their value further. I bet these men see them as pitiable creatures. I mean why should I respect someone who is more concerned about public perception than she is about her own welfare? 

Aunty, Husband will constantly beat you so tey den know you for emergency room of the hospital in your locality. Your Car, clothes and every other thing you own is bought with your hard earned money but because you belong to #pepperdemgang you will come online and praise Mr husband for buying these things for you. You will even tag him and he may even respond calling you "Boo" and orisirisi. Na life be that? Are you okay like this? Will anybody kill you if you just share a picture of your latest exotic Car without talking about who bankrolled it? No you must pepper "them'.

Meanwhile who are these people that you are always peppering? Your husband's concubines? His ex wife? Your friends? Your frenemies? Other women? Ndi "I tap into this"? Onye?

From Tonto Dikeh to Mercy Aigbe , its been the same story and I keep wondering if they and women like them have functional brains. Are they even aware that if it ever happens that they become victims of foul play; these flowery posts can be used in defense of the Man? 

When Charity Aiyedogbon went missing last year and fingers pointed at her husband, her friends brought out screenshots of where she shared about how troubled the marriage was, then others brought out posts of where she was worshipping the same husband in an interview talking about how he is the best thing ever. Biko which one should we believe? The same thing happened to Tonto Dikeh, same is happening to Mercy Aigbe now? 

How about the shame and disrepute that comes with you admitting all your lovey dovey posts were all a lie...that you have been lying all along. What about the fact that it deals a blow to your credibility? If you can lie about the state of your relationship, why can't you lie about being abused?
When will Nigerian women start having self respect? When? Pepper dem gang when will you people rest? Stop living your life for other's validation, start living your life for you. As for the tappers association..... Awww inspiring Weddings on Bella Naija that didn't last even six months didn't teach you guys enough? When will you stop tapping into other people's relationship? Stop cursing yourself by yourself.

- Toyin Fabunmi Okpaleke

17 comments:

abdulrasaq abdulrafii said...

Issokay

Nasiru Adoke said...

hmmmmm..i guess she has a point,if you cant take the heat then say it as it is no need to lie and cover up things to deceive and in actual sense deceiving yourself

Austine Gabriel said...

Nice writeup

Anonymous said...

Well said. I pray God to give them abused women a new life. And the wicked men, a change of heart.

Rosemary Ezeji said...

Notice me we have seen you.

I. C Bruno said...

Tell them

Noble Nwankpa said...

It is not well. Tell dem.

Onifade Joseph said...

If only they will listen then the post would be accorded it's due, but they will never listen
#Believe

Oladimeji S. said...

If they will ever listen to the advise.

Queen Abiodun Ogunnika said...

These nollywood actresses thinks they are Hollywood actresses abi kontinu

Anonymous said...

Gbam! Toyin my dear. Tell them. Nonsense

Sunshow said...

Cool

Anurika Onwu said...

The worst things in life is for someone to deceive herself rather than facing the reality

okorochas justin said...

Ife di mma...

Rasheed Lawal said...

tell them joor

Hassan Aderemi said...

Maybe those ladies been battered by their husbands felt by praising him on social media might have their men change of minds & efforts to make their marriage workable. Toyin you might not understand what transpired in matrimonial home until you married.

inumidun said...

Na dere life..

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